hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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