Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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