Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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