Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
