all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
