1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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