She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
