Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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