I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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