I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
