so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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