i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
