Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
