i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
