i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
