Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
