I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
