Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
