Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
pray to the hookup gods
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
