NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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