You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
COCAINE IS GR8
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
