oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
