he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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