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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
