Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
