i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
