I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
