where does the pee come out of this thing
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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