From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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