Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I won't apologize to a one balled man
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
