This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
