I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
