Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
