ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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