I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
