Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
