if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
