i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
