Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
