...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Me too!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
