i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
