Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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