I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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