my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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