There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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