A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
