Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
