Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
