I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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