I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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